Put the storyteller’s narration on your back
We’ve all seen some super text-heavy shirts out in the wild, but imagine standing in line for the self-check-out area at the grocery store and seeingthisinexplicable gem: a rareElden Ringhoodie containing theworld-defining lorefrom the game’s opening cinematic.
If you’re hazy, here’s thedeliciously crypticcinematic again:
The hoodie found its way onto my feed viaLance McDonald, and I was grateful to see it, having missed From Software’s original Japanese tweetback in December.
I just wanna take a moment to draw attention to this official Elden Ring merchandise that has massive Kanye West energy. It’s literally just the entire voiceover from the intro cinematic in tiny text under a screenshot from the cinematic and I would kill to own thishttps://t.co/xkBDZKEv3qpic.twitter.com/pincIu4B0x
— Lance McDonald (@manfightdragon)July 30, 2025
If you’re racing to order one of these hoodies, hold up — they aren’t widely available. From Softwareran a lottery in Japanwith this and other not-for-sale products.
Granted, I’m sure Bandai Namco will have plenty of material to work with for merchandise and apparel based onElden Ring— but will this niche “thou shouldst take the crown” design ever get a wider release? Well, maybe I’m alone on this one. I think it looks good!
I love how hyper-specific the hoodie is. I always preferred gaming merch thatfelt more subdued— the kind that looks good with or without context for the subject matter — but maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s best to double down on our obsessions.
To that end, I once saw someone with a gnarlyUzumakijacket at the mall, and that five-second “wait, where did he find that?!” encounter has stuck with me to this day.
If I see any of you out there rocking this wordyElden Ringhoodie — or any other, for that matter — then I promise to do my best Patrick Stewartquadruple take.
